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Project Mayhem solves the fuel shortage

January 4, 2009

Trent Loos at the High Plains Journal voices the concern that many of us, and by “many” I mean “me”, feel about the over riding tone coming from our government entities lately…

It appears to me that the best New Year’s resolution we could all have for 2009 is to do our part to keep Big Brother at bay. The “drastic” economic times are leading to some rash short-term thinking that we must not allow to be imposed upon free American citizens. Last week David Patterson, the governor of New York, announced a proposed 18 percent tax on all non-diet soft drinks. His claim? One in four New Yorkers under the age of 18 is obese and the only way these kids will turn their life around is if we start making dietary choices for them.

Then as a true western man of action, he provides a solution…

But 2009 needs to be about providing solutions, not just continually identifying problems. I have the solution to economic stimulus, obesity and renewable energy all at the same time. During the same week that New York proposed this soda tax, a Beverly Hills doctor got himself in trouble. Apparently Craig Alan Bittner was performing liposuction on overweight patients but was not discarding the fat he collected. In fact, he created what he called “lipo-diesel” and powered his and his girlfriend’s vehicles with it.

Now that might be ingenious. If we would encourage people to eat more food–all kinds of food–that would certainly provide the economic stimulus so many are seeking. When a person gets too much fat in certain areas of the body you drop by the doctors office and have him suck it out. That fat could be processed right at the doctor’s location and before you go home you could fill your tank up with lipo-diesel. I am thinking that since half of the United States population is overweight and one-third are obese, that the excess fat removed could power our nation. Most importantly we cannot forget that fat is a resource and we love to produce it, so why not put it to good use?

Doesn’t he know that the finest fat in the world should be used for making soap, not fuel?

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